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Prepare Children for What You Want: Teach Them to Organize

On this site there are numerous entries on organizing stuff, and some writings about organizing people.  I felt the need to mention teaching children to get organized on this site, because I know how difficult it can be to manage them.  I have four myself, a past with working and teaching children, and years of experience reading and writing about subject matters related to parenting. 

When it comes to organizing children, you have to keep in mind the following:  they will not listen or catch on right away to what you want (most often to any instruction especially if they don't see any benefit,) they will want to find ways to manipulate you into giving in to their every whim, they are inconsistent, and most of all, they will play adults against one another so that their needs will be met and not yours.  Now with these points in mind, let's start organizing the children shall we.

Before you start planning time to teach children to organize, you might want to talk with others in the household.  You want them to be supportive.  Explain what the benefits are if the children will listen and follow-through with your instructions.  Maybe the garage needs cleaning or maybe the children are often late to school, whatever the issue, something or someone needs to get organized, so do express your concerns to the adult family members.

First, you will want to state your purpose for getting the children involved in your organizing task.  What exactly is it that you want to do?  Do you plan on moving, vacationing, taking them to grandma's house, or do you just want to get them organized in such a way that your household runs smoothly?  With each goal you set, you will have to tweak your schedules to meet your needs.

State the problem and give your children the solution.  You can use visual aids to help make your point or use past examples like, "Remember the last time we got ready to go to the restaurant and you couldn't find your shoes, and your brother took too long looking for his toy, so we ended up having to wait so long for our food?  Well this is why we need to change some things around here and get out the house sooner, okay?"

Let's say, bedtime is a problem and your goal is to get them in bed sooner.  You personally believe children need a consistent bedtime, but someone in the household doesn't care when they go to bed.  A tired child is a fussy and argumentative child.  Cite examples of this behavior that might have led to some strict discipline from your or someone in the household. State the benefits of why certain things must be done in the evening and in the morning to alleviate some of the late nights and irritable moods.  If you know there is a long trip ahead, school event, doctor's appointment, or something else, it would make sense to be sure the child is well-rested.  However, do not expect too much from your son or daughter if you have permitted him or her to stay up all night before a trip or event in the hopes that he or she will sleep at some point--that won't happen without a fight.  In a situation like this, you will have to manage time.  Scale back the typical late bedtime by 5 or 10 minutes each day until you reach the desired time.  Warn the child well in advance when it is time to go to bed.  Sometimes I use a clock with a warning bell when it is getting close to bed time.  The children are expected to start cleaning up.  Post a note to remind everyone when Jack or Jill is supposed to be in bed.  If you are going to be busy for any reason, remind the adult in your child's care to be sure Jack or Jill is in bed.  Plan baths/showers earlier as well as snack times.

Next, what tools will you need to accomplish your task?  Older children will work with you if they can see what you mean.  So note everything you plan to do in a simple way.  List steps, draw a grid, or create pictures.  Meet with the children and post your intentions.  Will this be a task done daily or on select days?  Note the days and times.  This way there is no question when he or she is supposed to help out. 

Third, introduce each task gradually.  Consider this, you wouldn't want someone dumping a bunch of instructions on your lap, while never taking the time to explain each one.  Work with your child.  Get him or her to show you what he or she has learned based on what you have said.  For example, you want an older child to help out more around the house.  So you provide the tools like cleaning products, a bucket, gloves and a rag, you let him or her see you use the tools first.  Then you watch your son or daughter for awhile until he or she does the task to your satisfaction.  Don't be so quick to walk away from your child without taking him or her through several trainings or more.  Compliment your child each time he or she gets better at performing each instruction.

Four, award exceptional efforts.  A child will most likely appreciate doing what you ask, even more, if you promise to do something nice for him or her and stick by what you say.

Lastly, introduce other things that will make the household or elsewhere look and feel more comfortable.  Continue to teach them on how to use certain tools.  Encourage them to watch you and others.  Share Internet videos of children their age doing similar things.  Show them what the end result of each task is supposed to look like.  For example, if you want a clean and organized bathroom, you will show them different items that help them sort and organize.  Arrange for a store visit and explain what each tool for your project does to further their understanding.

The following is a list of things that children can do to help with organizing your environment:

1.  Vacuum

2.  Dust

3.  Clean items ie. ) dishes, walls, doors, tables, windows, etc.

4.  Sort

5.  Place items on shelf units.

6.  Hold things steady while you build.

7.  Hang up items (older children).

8.  Pick up things.

9.  Suggest colors, patterns, prints, tools etc.

10.  Read material and watch videos for ideas.

Take what you have learned when it comes to organizing and share tips with your child.  Walk with him or her to each room of your household and outdoors and point out problem areas.  Get feedback from him or her.  Ask, "how might you organize this room?  What tools do you think we need?  Draw a plan and then share it with me."

Children can do many activities that can be beneficial to the household if only they are taught by someone who is willing to show them. With school breaks and seasonal vacations, these are prime opportunities to introduce something new to your children. When you teach children how to become organized, they will remember when they are older your tips.


Nicholl Mcguire is the author of When Mothers Cry.

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The Power of a Brainstorming To Do List

Penning anything you plan to do in the future in a list form is a very powerful move, because what it does is cause you to focus on only what specifically needs to be accomplished and you find that you feel empowered because of it!  Sometimes you just don't need or want an abstract view on what you are hoping or planning to do.  You just want to do them!

Brainstorming what needs to be done will help you eliminate what doesn't really need to be done right now.  Break tasks into small groups and subgroups then start doing them!

So what I came up with is an example of how you might want to get some things out of your head and on to paper in an effort to get tasks completed.  A To Do List of any sort is nothing more than a simple tool to help you brainstorm your needs from your wants.  It helps you become less stressed and makes you feel like you are doing something useful in your personal life.  So allow this  brainstorming exercise to motivate you to create effective task lists for all sorts of things you want to get done at home and elsewhere.

Let's say, you want to do the following things around your home: organize and clean your kitchen and living room and do some rearranging in the bedrooms, but you are having problems getting some things done.  Consider listing your tasks in the form of questions, rather than simple phrases.

Kitchen

What do I need to buy for myself, the children, and my partner?  List each person you are buying for and put their needs under each heading.

What has yet to be cleaned?  List the items in your kitchen that appear unsightly.

When was the last time I sorted old items stored away in cabinets, drawers and the refrigerator, what needs to be thrown away?  Note each place that you need to check and then start throwing objects away.

Add more to your brainstorming To Do list.  Highlight or star what is most important to you include your starting and ending dates if possible.  So that you will feel moved to begin.

Let's say you are asked to help someone get organized, but this person seems to have a problem getting started.  You can organize a brainstorming To Do list for that person in the form of questions.  Mention most important duties to complete first.

Livingroom

When was the last time you vacuumed?

Is your carpeting filthy?

Have you noticed an odor coming from your furniture?

Take a look at your drapery and blinds, are they dusty?

Could your wall decor use an uplift? 

What is the condition of your walls?  Is a paint job needed?

Bedroom

When was the last time bedding and window curtains were laundered?

What is the smell like in your bedroom?  Do your carpets need to be shampooed?

Now what you would do is continue with your questions.  Then you would add a new category and add the tasks that need to be accomplished elsewhere in the home or elsewhere maybe they are smaller or larger tasks ie.) Home Office--what files to keep and what files to throw away, Garage--what to give away, Basement--what repairs need to be made, Back Yard--what landscaping needs to be done, Front Yard--what treatment should I buy to keep weeds away, etc.  Notice each task starts with a question that will cause you to think about other things you need to do.

Let's say that you want to do something as simple as organizing some needed tasks for a variety of business projects.

XYZ Campaign

Make follow-up phone calls to do on Monday.

Market website on Tuesday include....

Speak with person about....schedule meeting for Friday.

What have I yet to do about...email campaign?

What still needs to be done with...?

When do I plan to get XYZ project completed and sent to client?

You list and you question what still needs to be done.  Then you start working on those items that are priorities.  Ask yourself each day, "What do I hope to get accomplished with my business?  What might anger me by nightfall if I don't get it done?"

Set target dates, include times and enlist help if necessary and note your thoughts.  If you aren't good at list-making or think this might be too tedious, maybe you can give a relative or friend an appointment book to help you pen your thoughts.  Tell him or her what yo have already done, what you hope to do and what are your present goals.  This person might be able to help you brainstorm.

When asking for help from others, be sure that you are clear about what it is that you want and be respectful of their time.  Someone or a group may not be happy to learn that you will be using their services most of the day or night.  So be clear as to what it is that you want and agree to a set a window of time dedicated exclusively to one or two tasks rather than five or 15. 

Also, check your budget and begin to put small amounts of money aside for your household fund.  Know when school breaks are and pay children to help.  Find out who might need some additional funds and ask this person to help you. 

When you start with brainstorming a list of things to get done, you are beginning to sort out your important tasks from your unimportant ones.  Therefore, you will be better able to reach goals.


Nicholl McGuire maintains other blogs including: Parents, Babies Children, When Mothers Cry and Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate