Today's world is full of lies, negativity and road which ends in darkness. Most of the time, people find themselves sometimes in lives when they know that they are living negatively, when they know they have to change. Sometimes people think that they are living positively but in fact it is not how they think, it is not always as simple as it seems. It doesn't matter in which growth stage we are we can always push the button for positive change and give our best.
The first step - Realize
The realization is the first step, when people realize that they are walking the wrong way of life, they have the chance to change. Also the strength of the realization is important, the stronger the realization, the stronger will to change will be created. Although the realization itself can't start the change, but it is the crucial thing to have. People can't change something that they don't even know they have. "Sometimes realization comes by itself, sometimes by ourselves, no matter from where it came, it is our responsibility to either start to work on it or to forget about it."
The second step - Accept
Realization can sometimes be connected with acceptance but in majority of cases it is a different term. Without acceptance of the negative realization and negative self we also can't start the change. People must accept something that they have to fully start changing. It is in many cases hard to accept something negative in ourselves, but it is also a crucial thing to do. "The difference between successful and the rest is that successful people are not afraid to accept themselves."
The third step - Check the present situation
Checking the present situation is a important thing to do. Look at things that are advantageous to you and the things that are not. Look at what you have, look at what you can have and don't have. Check your situation on anything you are doing, school, job or relationship with the partner; anything. "We can't see what we can do if we didn't even check what there is possible to do."
The fourth step - Organize
After you checked all the things present in your life, you should organize them. List the things which are beneficial for your development, for your relationship with the persons you love or should love. List the things which are not important for you, which are "a waste of time". Time goes by really fast and we never know when we will get into the position when we think that it is late. "The computer needs to organize itself to work properly, it is same with humans."
The fifth step - Push the start button
Firstly look at the things which are most important in means of time. Either it is a positive thing or negative, just do the thing you should do, for example a important homework or finishing an important article. After we fixed the most crucial things, it is important to start on the things which are damaging for our lives. Most of the time they are addictions which are hard to get rid of depending on our will or self-control. There is no ultimate formula to get rid of negative addictions right away but these steps can also be used in getting rid of the addiction, just it needs more power of will and a stronger realization about the negative influence which are continuous and infinite if we don't start to control it. "If you don't start to change yourself, who will?"
The sixth step - Don't give up
It is hard to control ourselves and giving up is the easiest thing to do anytime. We should keep the mindset that the harder it is to control, the more benefit will we have after. We still can't see the whole picture of the benefit after but the truth is that it is always greater than we think. We shouldn't give up because we never know when the addiction will disappear. We shouldn't give up because life is precious. "For every change there is the first step, the second step, the third step and after you don't even count."
The seventh step - Look at the improvement
Look at the life you had before and the life now, don't you feel proud of yourself? People should know that sometimes they should reflect on their past to see the improvement and feel happiness rather than looking at the long way they still have to go. If we put a group of successful people, some are happy and some are not. The difference is the mindset, the unhappy people think of the way they still have to work on to get to the ultimate success when the happy people look at the past and the improvement they made possible through time. "Sometimes changing the way we look can change our mood."
The eighth / last step - Forget about it and continue
The last step is really simple, there are no steps. Our mindset should totally change so that it is automatic that we fix the negative things and continue on things which are beneficial for us. It should be a habit, a positive habit. "Changing thyself is very hard but also very beneficial, depending on the change."
Some people say that life is all about self-pleasure and some say it is about constant development. Both are important but we should have the skill to distinguish pleasure and real happiness.
My name is HyunSoung Kim. When I grow up I will be an positive psychologist who helps people choose the positive road. If you have any problems or questions about your life, future and frustrations please feel free to ask me by sending a e-mail to kim_h_soung@hotmail.com, it is always my first priority to fully help others.
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